(I had the same problem telling Yoona and Yuri apart, but that's for a different post.)
Once I realized my mistake, I watched the video again and I decided I liked Jessica more than Tiffany. This was before I knew their names. Even though I often claim that Yoona was my first bias, Yoona was just the first bias whose name I already knew (due to a friend's obsession with Korean drama). In reality, the first Soshi member who I decided I liked was none other than Jung Sooyeon, a.k.a. Jessica Jung, the Ice Princess; I just didn't know who she was at the time.
Why did I like Jessica in Gee? Well, first she was quite cute in that video, especially with that hat she wore. She also had some nice ad libs, proving that she's one of the group's best singers.
Later on, after watching a few more SNSD videos and realizing how terrible Yoona was at singing, I chose Tiffany and Jessica as my new biases. I loved that they were both good singers and were fluent in English, because that meant I could listen to their English covers and not cringe. I guess you could say I started "shipping" JeTi back then, but really I just enjoyed seeing them speak English.
Over time, I became more used to seeing myself as a K-Pop fan (or at least, a fan of Girls' Generation), and began to take a closer look at all nine of the girls, studying their appearances in music videos and TV shows. What I discovered surprised me: based on appearance alone, I had been neglecting some members who are actually more of my type than either Jessica or Yoona. Tiffany was already up there in what I considered "hot", even though her hairstyle in Gee was so bad that Jessica outranked her that one time. But then there was Yuri and Taeyeon, both of whom I ignored at first because they seemed like the generic "too-pretty" Korean girls I've seen in other places.
Ignoring girls who are too pretty? Too pretty?! What kind of dumb faggotry is that?! Well, I figured if I wanted to see cute/sexy girls I could just go to one of the million websites catering to such desires (hurr hurr). Singers and dancers needed to have something other than being beautiful before I become interested in them. Tiffany and Jessica attracted me because of their English and their singing ability, but I honestly think Tiffany is more beautiful. Yuri attracted me because of her adorably silly personality and surprising songwriting talent. Taeyeon attracted me because of her powerful vocals and her great sense of humor.
What I'm trying to get at is that Jessica eventually fell in my own SNSD rankings, She wasn't in the bottom by any means (she was actually sixth), but once I decided I wouldn't let a lack of English ability get in the way of me liking a K-Pop idol, other girls shined more.
Believe me, I tried to keep my JeTi status for as long as I could. But the more I watched the group, the more I noticed that Tiffany wasn't really that close to Jessica. I learned about the origin of the "Locksmith" ship, and it did seem that Tiffany and Taeyeon had a stronger bond. I started realizing that the only reason the Tiffany and Jessica interactions were so memorable was because of their English, and nothing else.
Sadly, my feelings towards Jessica slowly turned to love-hate. There were times I'd be annoyed by her voice, or even her mere appearance, but there were also times that she made me feel very... warm (e.g. in the MVs for The Boys, Galaxy Supernova, and the Japanese version of Genie). The truth is, I had fantasies of Krystal replacing Jessica in SNSD; the younger Jung was much more to my liking visually. I even wrote a fanfic once where an alternate world Jessica Jung was an only child but looked exactly like Krystal.
But even after all that, deep inside I knew that Jessica was part of what made Girls' Generation the success that it is right now. In fact, I would describe the "SNSD Sound" as Jessica, Taeyeon, and Tiffany, with the other members merely acting as vocal filler most of the time. I was also aware that Jessica has a horde of fans who see her as the most gorgeous Soshi member.
No matter how I personally felt, I knew that Jessica belonged in Girls' Generation.
And so when Jessica posted that message on Weibo last year saying she was kicked out of the group, I initially thought her account was hacked. I just couldn't believe it. And then I saw the other eight looking upset and crying during their fan-meet that day, and that just broke my heart. I admit that I wasn't as devastated as most fans (I try not to be too invested in people who don't even know of my existence), but I knew the consequences of that event. There was going to be drama. Lots of it.
I really, really dislike drama.
Later on I learned that Jessica was already planning to leave the group, and they had been preparing for a formal farewell that was supposed to happen in their Tokyo Dome concert last December. The supposed reason for Jessica leaving was her intention to start a fashion company. Given what happened, sadly I think business was just her excuse. I think she was no longer enjoying her time as part of the group. I refuse to speculate on whose fault it was that she felt that way, but I think it's quite clear that right now, a year after that event, her friendship with the other members no longer exists.
The final nail on the coffin was when Jessica disappeared from the list of people Yuri is following on Weibo. It could be that Yuri did unfollow her (as most people assumed), or perhaps Jessica simply blocked Yuri. Whoever burned that final bridge, I no longer think we can expect reconciliation to happen any time soon.
Girls' Generation proved this year that they could succeed without Jessica. I have not seen any sign of Blanc & Eclare being in danger, so I guess Jessica's doing fine as well. I am most definitely not part of B&E's target market, so until Jessica returns to the music industry (if that ever happens) I think it's time for me to bid farewell to her.
Goodbye, Jung Sooyeon.
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